My favorite sextoy, the form 6, was not charging this morning when I woke up. Yes, I like to masturbate when I wake up. Like ever.freaking.day. This makes me frustrated. In more ways than one.
Also, today I actually updated my sugarbaby profile on my favorite site. Hopefully it will result in some new people. I really still don't want to go back to Neo, but I might have to. I am literally out of money, and running my gas on empty. This is bad. I've paid bills, I paid books for class I've paid spring break plane tickets, I paid sorority dues this month. That's all a lot of money. I don't have anymore. My mom is paying (!) for my EMT class, only because she's decided to take it with me. I'm also trying to ask her to pay my GRE fees.
Although since I am on a 'be healthy' kick, I've decided to wonder how many calories I am burning by my masturbating. Haven't figured that out yet. Any help? I've heard from like 30 to 500 (ha! I wish! I'd have sex and eat chocolate everyday if that were the case).
So, random sexual thoughts. I have a wii fit, that my soror sisters and I all use. And I've decided that yes, the female "trainer" is hot. As in, instead of doing yoga, I stare at her ass. The hair on the male trainer (his head), annoys me.
So, I am off to manually (sigh) masturbate some more, watch some good porn (sapphic erotica, btw, but I will always take some more suggestions), before I go to the student gym and have a Zumba class.

Shower Sex

I love shower sex. In a big enough shower of course.
A shower alone is steamy enough- I get turned on by my own nudity and curves. There's something about being wet all over without feeling oily or lotion-y. And sex? there's never a need for lube in shower sex, which is a plus. When I've got a um.. well endowed partner, it just makes things that much more slippery, that much more warm, that much easier. water sliding down and tickling my vag anyway..
But men? Men don't seem to like it. never really figured that one out. I've met one guy who really liked it, and a few who would do it pretty much any way I wanted, their preference or not.
But yay! a client who liked it. He was traveling through my town for some business thing. Rented a room at the Hilton, which I popped over to tonight.
We drank a glass of wine, as many of my men provide, possibly for their own relaxation as well as my own. I know after 2 or 3 glasses, my job is easier. I'm intensely physical when drinking.
And he wasn't bad looking. No muscles really, but not fat. Circumcised. It was a job. But he turned to me, kind of embarrassed. I was afraid I was totally be about to asked to do something I hate. But no, he said he was afraid of the smell of sex and wanted to instead have it in the shower. Weird reasoning, but I'll take the shower sex any day!
Okay, Hilton does not design their showers with sexual utility in mind. But it was pretty good. At first I was pushed up against the wall, him behind me. It made it easy to not deal with facial acting, just closing my eyes and mentally masturbating. And then, due to the fact he was slipping a bit, we turned around.
Oh My God. So, he's still behind me, but now he's against the wall, and now I've got water at the perfect pressure and temperature pounding against my breasts and licking at my clit.
I orgasmed before him.
But he followed pretty quickly afterwards.
We got out of the shower and dried off. We talked for about five minutes, I recieved my standard complements and standard pay, and was out through the lobby.
I was upset because I forgot to bring makeup, so I ended up going straight to the gym afterwards and then re-showering, simply so no one asked what the deal with my unmade appearance was. Of course, only I'm that neurotic and no one asked about it.

yay jobs

I've had two jobs since recruitment has ended. My lovely sorority is rocking it out, and fine with me as an ALUM. YAY NO MORE DRAMA. I'm already a member of the local alum association though. And it's nice.
However... more interestingly, sex.
I've had two jobs.
Both with my stepdad's name. Which is still awkward to me. I mean, I know that sounds weird. like, who cares what their names are... but getting fucked by someone your stepdad's age and same name? it just weirds me out.

I went out to the country for one. I knew another girl who had 'worked' for him before, and so I felt safe about staying on his farm. It was great- we chilled out and had dinner in another town about 30 minutes away, he showed me the lovely churches in town (I have a thing for archetecture), and he even showed me the local convent. Which, btw, is my desired job someday. The whore who wants to be a nun. :)

Alas, his bedding was not amazing. I'm used to this. I wish it weren't so. Some clients make me cum just thinking about them. These clients, I close my eyes and basically excersize my muscles into orgasming them. Alas, there is no way to screen for skill on a credit report.

I have no new jobs lined up at the moment. . . like the beginning of every semester, I try to take it easy.
I might however, have a weekend with neo soon.

Recruitment

I hate rush. Can I say that?
Actually, part of me (cough cough, the lesbian part) loves it. 1000 FINE women dressing up to get my attention and make me want them. Almost all of them my type. You know, if they weren't straight.
But work week? Hell. I'm so exhausted by the end of it. Always. However, I've learned new "body communication" skills to use with my clients. I think my national office would be so proud to see recruitment tactics used in whoring.
Speaking of, one of my sorority sisters who webcammed officially.. is no longer a sister. I'm angry. The way she was thrown out to the public was horrible, and since my job is to be her sister, screw the rest of the world. We should protect her.
I despise our "standards" advisor. She hates me too though.
During our little "affirmations" time, the chapter told me that they wished I had run for office. I never ran, simply because she hated me so much I could never even get slated, but I was appointed to three positions. And stripped of all by our standards. Because of "reputation". Also known as, "I don't give a fuck if I'm under 21 and drink while being the biggest asset to this chapter in the last five years."
My first year... I was THAT super-sorority girl. Obviously not yet possible to be an officer, but I planned our pledge dance, I was on membership team, I was on social committee, I was the only pledge on bylaws, I was the best recruiter, and I played EVERY intramural sport (and captained an A team to victory in basketball). And I did it with a great GPA. Work hard, party harder. Be a leader. That's what this sorority was about, leadership and loyalty.
It's about awards now. We're nationals sweethearts. We're our university's sweethearts. So nothing else mattered about me except I didn't find alcohol a demon. And so I do my duty, don't get me wrong. I still am an asset to this chapter. I was part of a core group of girls who solidly moved our sorority into going higher than any other organization had even gone. More than the best. The best and beating ourselves type group. Internally, anyways.
So one of the girls in my core (a grouping within our sorority), left school and our sorority. Over the break. Which is great. She was one of the drama pageant girls. Except I can't believe she won because she always did her makeup TERRIBLY. Like, campy, except she was trying to make it classy. Not good when looking at rushees. Clown-faced. And she was an awkward rusher, and never otherwise involved. And her super boyfriend had been kicked out of pledging his fraternity. So I didn't mind her just bowing out. The girl was also, completely separately, insane. Now, I'm on a good deal of antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds. So being insane in the non-choice manner doesn't bother me. But being insane and not holding yourself accountable does.
And this girl- DURING RECRUITMENT WEEK, makes a facebook post about "not liking lying sisters saying she's crazy."
Bullshit. You don't pull shit like this during recruitment week. I don't care how mad you are. You left, you didn't give a reason, and you left on bad terms. If you had ANY loyalty at all... you would have left in a classy manner. Facebook notes are NOT acceptable.
So I'm not happy. Because I'm working my ass off out of my misplaced, unswerving loyalty to a group that did me wrong three times. But I made an oath, and I'll create the sisterhood that I joined in the sense that I will return to the creed of our founders. That's what I joined. And I do love my sisters, dearly. I'm so proud to say that (bar her, and one other), of the 200 girls in my house, I would love to hang out with them. and even the two I dislike, I'd still be there in any emergency. But I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be in a house like this. Because so many others HATE half their houses. And we don't have that. And our officers don't tell us to shut up ever. I mean, seriously, down to that level of respect, and it's really house wide.
And I hate to see that broken by someone. And at a time when it could do serious damage. No easy answer.

finals.

next week is finals week. and today is a dead day. which meaaaaansss... drunk on bellini time.
Actually, I spent from 5pm monday night to 11pm tuesday night in the library finishing a paper.. that's due as the final. So today was my day off.
A while ago was my 21st birthday, so now that I'm legal... (it was boring, I had my last set of tests and papers that week... so i was in the library, ALL NIGHT.) yeah, I buy too much alcohol.
So two soror sisters, both officer friends- one a sophomore (who took my position! I love her!) and one a junior (on recruitment with me), both under 21, came over, we went out and bought cheap champaign, cheaper peach liqueur and used the blender of awesomeness while we played wii and waited for top chef. It was a good episode.
I'm sad because we didnt' make it to bestbuy so I could buy the dark night, but meh. I've watched caspian 4 times this week.
Tomorrow, I spend the day studying for my Biblical Interpretation class. Drinks are needed when studying Jesus' Trial and Crucifixion, thankfully edited powerpoint for me by another sister in my class, since our teacher thought a holiday lecture should be in red and green, two colors I can't see.
So, not much to do this week, no sex sadly... (no sex work gladly) well, maybe tonight with random fratboy, if I catch him not studying... I'm dying for it, and for some reason, my form 6 isn't charging (!), and this is making manual masturbation while drunk just unhappy.
However, I already have two jobs for next week, between and after finals. I only have three, and none are cumulative.
I'm still debating on whether to take a community college semester (need to stay in school for health insurance), or take a really really bad loan. If I do community college, it'll just be acting classes, dance and vocal. And I could still afford summer school then and graduate, which sounds good.
and then, a good night out with Jack maybe... I haven't seen him in forever and I desire a 'fun' night before going home.

Calling the Cops

I realize I just posted, but I'm in a writing mood, stay with me.
I stayed in last night, exhausted from the weekend events. Freshly washed sheets, a good ale, and Prince Caspian on DVD. I actually fell asleep at one point and had to restart it when I woke up to the credits.
Got bored, played myself in wii tennis, the wii being a gift from my professor dearest. I'm getting wii fit for christmas, thanks to my mother. Not tuition or anything, but at least I'll look hot.
So, around 3am I decide to retire... go snuggle up in my freshly washed sheets, and all the sudden I hear this reallly high pitched noise, but quite loud. Now, I know it's not the fire alarm- that brings flashing lights through the apartment as well. But I'm not sure what it is. I close each ear, seeing if maybe it's just me having ringing ears. I walk towards the sound and realize it's immensely louder in the living room. So, yeah, an actual noise. I go deadbolt the door, look through the peephole and realize it's my neighbor's entry alarm. I live in an area where property crime is like 3x the national average, on a good day. I refused to live on the ground floor because last year one of my sorority sisters came back to her apartment to see bullet holes through the front. The statistic runs to something like 1 in 6 will face some sort of property crime, and the murder rate is like new orleans...
I did a little internet check, because I'm lame, and my city is safer than 2% of all cities in the US (over 100,000), my neighborhood ranking lowest. In fact, it was rated lower than almost every neighboorhood in the scary parts of new orleans. Not surprising, considering there is the crazy lady on River street who will try and block your car with her body if you dare slowdown for the stop sign. I kid you not, median house value is 38,300.
So anyways, scary place to live. Can't go out at night alone, which is often frustrating. Don't want nice things, etc.
My neighbor's alarm keeps going off, and it's been five minutes. I'm debating on whether or not to call the police. On the one hand, my neighbor is not turning off the alarm, which isn't really connected to anything but the door. No company or anything.
So I call, kind of timidly. I hate calling 911. I'm real nice about it, and the lady who picked up, for 3am, was very very nice. I gave the basic information, I hear her relay it to cops, and about five minutes later, I hear someone banging on my neighbors door, they got in, then the alarm stops. I was actually really impressed with their timing. I know the cops are all of three miles away on empty road, but they generally suck.
But the whole thing took about 15 minutes. I'm baking bread to give to my neighbor later today, to see how everything is. But here's the thing...
it did take me five minutes or more to call the cops. I live in a very crowded building. There are at least 100 other people around at 3am within our building who MUST have heard that... and I was the first to call the cops? Like, no wonder property crime is high. It's 3am on FINALS week, and the library is closed at 1am.. no one is home studying? no one is just awake? no one is scared/annoyed/ mad about an alarm that had to wake someone else up... yeah, they probably aren't.
It's just frustrating...

Carter

It's finals week, so I am studying too hard to have sex.
Okay, we know that's not true.
Friday night I had a date as a proper "escort" with a guy I've seen a few times. Accounting Big 4 Principal type guy. No idea what he actually does. But it was his company christmas party. I went, in a nice new Sue Wong dress he bought for me, and some Roberto Cavalli shoes I bought for rush many years ago. The party was fantastic. He had ordered me the lamb, and it was just... astounding. Open bar, a lot of drunk people. I sat next to a new hire actually, a really actually cute guy. Also ran into someone from my university, but she was sloshed when I got there and has graduated sometime ago.
Anyway, so after the official party is over, we head across the street to the club-area of town, and pop into this little unnamed joint that was so full it was insane. I ran into SUMMER there. Around one, I told my date I had to get started back, and he agreed. We parted ways (after he paid for my valet parking and paid me), and I drove up to my friend Carter's house.
We met in middle school, on a trip to the holocaust museum. Started dating that summer, until I was arrested and incarcerated. When I got back, I dated other people for a while, but by junior year, Carter and I lived together in a lovely apartment called the crack shack. I had home schooled myself and was done two years early, he was a junior. So everyday, I drove him to high school and then went to work. We would have lunch at the high school, and I was generally done working by five or six, and we would go home and get high/junked up/god knows what. More often than not, we didn't have sex simply because we were too fucked up. Anyway, we were talking about just life last night, how we both totally fed off each other's destructive energy, and pulled the "what the crap, I was barely 17! less than a month after my birthday, we had our own place. Now, I lied on the lease (19), and never got carded (shock). But really, where were our parents? Okay, both divorced, his mom introduced us to cocaine, my mom was in and out of detoxing centers... but here we were, two underage magnet school kids, national merit scholars, making rent, making health insurance payments, paying bills. And doing more drugs than everyone we knew put together. Eventually Carter got arrested for a rather large drug bust, after I moved away to college. He spent every dime he ever earned dealing into the best lawyer money could buy and got rehab and 5 years probation. I still can't believe he didn't have jail time.
But it's been five years since then. And we keep in touch often.. And everytime we see eachother, we fuck. He's the second best fuck I've ever had. So big he's almost painful, but still a good sort of pain. And we go for hours and it only seems like 10 or 15 minutes. Our sex is giggly sometimes, we just have fun with each others bodies.
But yes, as the french movie Brotherhood of the Wolf was on in the background, we had animalistic sex. I ripped my panties trying to pull them off. By the time we were done, the credits were rolling, I was spent, have a small bruise on my forehead from hitting the wall with my face a bit too hard, and he managed to be too drunk to finish, but apparently sober enough to be rock hard. Also, he was getting tired. So we drank a beer, smoked a cigarette, talk some more, and pass out. Sadly, when we woke up saturday afternoon, we both had places to see and people to do, so we said our quick goodbyes, I stole some of his clothes, and left.
But happily, I'm seeing him again next week when I go home for the holidays.